“Hello world, this is me, is that you, world?” Those were the words I intentionally released into the world on June 1, 2010, when I wrote my first intentionally public Tantrachick blog post.
The irony is that I had already been blogging privately for nearly two years, or at least I believed I was writing privately. I had no idea that my words were public or that hundreds of thousands of people had already been reading them.
By the time I discovered I had an audience, the most intimate parts of me had already escaped into the world.
Still, beginning Tantrachick felt different. This time, I knew I could be seen.
I had wanted to create the blog for some time, but something kept stopping me. It wasn’t that I had nothing to say. It was that I knew exactly what I wanted to say, and I was afraid of what might happen if I consciously allowed the world to see the deep, true self I had kept carefully hidden.
She was sensual, unconventional, intensely curious, and unwilling to separate sexuality from the rest of her humanity. She loved sex, love, desire, and the delicious art of seduction. She was a mother, a lover, a writer, a healer, and a woman beginning to understand the power of her own voice.
She was me.
And with one vulnerable question, I chose to let the world meet her.
Then I wrote:
“I am not your average woman.”
Of course, I immediately acknowledged that there may be no such thing as an average woman. Still, I knew I experienced life differently. I described myself as a pioneer, an empowered woman who spoke her truth and embraced sexuality as part of her life.
I loved sex.
I loved love, sexuality, sensuality, and the art of seduction.
And I was no longer willing to be ashamed of saying so.
Looking back now, that first post was incredibly short. A few vulnerable paragraphs followed by “Sweet dreams, world.”
But it was also a threshold.
I had no idea what would follow. I did not know that the blog would grow into thousands of posts with millions of followers. Together, my resonant followers and I dove deep. We explored sexuality, Tantra, relationships, healing, pleasure, nudity, nature, movement, spirituality, motherhood, community, and the strange beauty of being fully human.
I certainly did not know that I would still be meeting the woman who wrote those words more than sixteen years later.
She was brave.
She was also afraid.
She wanted to be seen, yet she was still trying to understand what being seen would cost her.
Tantrachick became a place where I could explore that question out loud. It gave me room to write about the parts of myself women were often expected to soften, conceal, or express only in carefully controlled ways.
I could be intelligent and erotic.
Spiritual and sexual.
A mother and a lover.
Nurturing and wild.
Committed and free.
I could talk about my body, pleasure, desire, wounds, curiosity, relationships, and the ongoing process of becoming myself.
That voice was real.
But Tantrachick was also an identity created during a particular season of my life. Eventually, the identity that helped liberate me began to feel like something I was expected to continue performing.
On December 31, 2018 I deleted Tantrachick and launched Get Naked With Joy.
At the time, deleting it felt necessary. Sometimes we need distance from an earlier version of ourselves before we can understand what she was actually trying to give us.
Now I am returning.
Not to recreate Tantrachick.
Not to pretend that nothing has changed.
And not to package myself into another identity that I will eventually choose to escape.
I am returning as Joy.
Get Naked With Joy is not simply the revival of two empowered blogs. It is the continuation of a conversation I began when I finally admitted that I was afraid to show the world who I really was.
Getting naked has never been only about removing clothing.
It is removing the masks we wear to remain acceptable.
It is noticing where we have edited ourselves to avoid making other people uncomfortable.
It is releasing identities that once protected us but no longer allow us to breathe.
It is telling the truth before we have managed to turn it into a tidy lesson.
It is allowing ourselves to be seen while we are still becoming.
The woman who wrote “Hello world!” in 2010 did not have everything figured out.
Neither do I.
I am arriving with my voice.
That may be the most honest place to begin.
I am not arriving with a perfected brand, a polished philosophy, or a promise that every part of this unfolding will be comfortable.
I am bringing the woman I was, the woman I became, and the woman I am consciously creating now.
Over the coming days, I will be returning to the Tantrachick memoirs and meeting pieces of myself through the words I left behind. Some will still feel completely true. Some will reveal how profoundly I have changed. Some may make me laugh, ache, cringe, remember, or recognize that the life I am creating now began whispering to me many years ago.
I do not need to erase the woman I was to become the woman I am.
I can honor her courage without being confined by her identity.
I can consciously choose to reclaim her sensuality, curiosity, openness, and willingness to speak while bringing forward everything life has taught me since.
So here I am.
Still unconventional.
Still sensually alive.
Still asking difficult questions.
Still learning what it means to reveal my deep, true inner self to the world.
This is me, whoever I am becoming.
Hello world, again. If you wrote like no one was reading your words, what would you write about? I would love to know…
From my heart to yours, Joy