Some of you know me on a deeper level. If you followed my first blog, Tantrachick, or know me personally, you are aware of my history with childhood sexual abuse.
What you may or may not know is how deeply the original abuse affected how I felt in my body. As a teen, the shame I felt about my body developed into a deep level of body hatred.
I loathed my body in its physical form and I hated the attention I received from men. I became anorexic and bulimic at the age of 16. I even briefly began ‘cutting’.
That’s why this journey of body love is so important to me. I am determined to fully embrace myself in mind, spirit AND body. My body has flaws. All bodies do. But I also believe that EVERY BODY is beautiful.
Body love is not about thinking your body is perfect. It’s about embracing your body despite the flaws and regardless of whether or not you meet society’s standards of ‘beauty’.
Yesterday a follower on Twitter commented on my photo. He simply said, “What a beautiful vagina”. I was so triggered I literally saw red. I insanely pissed. This is the photo:
To be 100% honest, I didn’t even notice my yoni when I looked at the photo. I just saw me connecting with self love. But this man did not comment on self love or acceptance, he simply told me I had a pretty vagina.
Over the years I have learned that if I automatically become triggered and angry in response to a comment, there is work to be done.
I suppose the journey is to love my vagina enough that it’s okay for someone to compliment her. To this point I have seen my yoni as something so sacred and protected that someone commenting on her clearly makes me reactionary.
So I will do the work…
I hope you are having a beautiful day!
From my heart to yours,